Finish Lines and Start Lines

I miss writing on Paint the Truth. I have not been writing much of anything at all lately, except for lesson plans, tests, and essays. I am within one month of completing my teacher program, and it feels like it's taken soooo long, but I see the finish line! (and it looks PUR-TY!!)

What's funny is that I feel like the finish line is also the start line. I get to keep running after crossing the finish line. But I get to slow done some. It's OK. I like running (metaphorically speaking, of course). But a steady jog will be a welcome change from this continuous SPRINT I am currently in!

Lots of things are happening all at once for me right now. GOOD THINGS! All very exciting. Besides finishing my teacher program, I am also packing up for yet another move--in less than 3 weeks- this time to our very own HOUSE. I call it my casita. It is little and cute and I am SOOO READY to get into it. It's hard to be patient, but God's timing is everything- so won't be in a rush over it.

Another great thing is that I am finally shedding these extra pounds that burden me in so many ways. This summer I weighed myself and realized that I was EXACTLY 100 pounds heavier than I was when I got married. The Lord used that shock and that reality to speak to me about what needed to happen. So I initiated "PROJECT WEDDING WEIGHT"! My goal is to lose those 100 pounds by the end of this school year. I have lost 33 pounds since school started. Soon I will be pulling out old clothes that I have not worn in 5 years. And burning these other ones! :) This feels like a finish line and a start line, too. Finishing running down a path of guilt, shame, and pain. Starting on a brighter, less treacherous path of health, physical strength, and the pulling down of a major stronghold that the enemy has tried to bind me with for way too long.

I have some very hard days, but I am experiencing great blessing and victory right now- spiritually, mentally, emotionally. The Lord is good. HE SUSTAINS US. HE NEVER FAILS. HIS PROMISES ARE TRUE. Mountains. Valleys. It's ALL part of HIS PLAN. We must not doubt Him!! EVER!!!! I welcome your prayers and thank you for them. Hope to get back to writing more soon.

~Davida

Decompression Complete

I'm really content with my 35-year-young life. I mean, being a grown-up definitely has its advantages! I enjoy the "freedoms" I have in my adulthood. I like drinking coffee after 7 PM if I want, then staying up as late as I like. I enjoy driving my car into the city without a map. I appreciate choosing the music I fall asleep to at night. I really love being Mark's wife and momma to Hannah and to Matthew. Some people say they wish they could return to their childhood. I don't wish that, as wonderful as my childhood was. I like where I am.

But I just spent two days at a place where I felt like a kid again, and I have to say... it was pretty sweet.


The four of us went to the Great Wolf Lodge in Grand Mound. It actually exceeded my expectations. Of course, I expected to have fun and relax. But I didn't expect to lose every ounce of tension in my body for hours at a time!! I think I had forgotten what it feels like to have the kind of carefree FUN that I had as a kid. To be silly and laugh really loud and scream if I feel like it, and not care about what anyone is thinking or who is watching me. It felt so good! So freeing!

For the better part of Tuesday, and all of Wednesday, I went from the wave pool to the hot tub- to the water slide to Starbucks to the hot tub- to the wave pool to the water slide- then to the hotel room to the Pizza Hut- to the hotel room to the fudge shop to the hotel room. It was SO. Much. FUN! I could not keep from smiling. I felt NO pressure from school or chores or bills or work. I felt NO burden by any immediate responsibility. It was the most therapeutic getaway I've had in awhile. I even fell asleep in the sun - at two different times- to the sound of falling water.

Today we came home--back to reality. Kind of a bummer, but it was OK. I am immensely thankful that we could even go on this little vacation. I am officially decompressed, just in time for the start of school preparations. I can approach these next two weeks with a new energy I didn't have a few days ago.

Three emphatic cheers for some serious R & R!!

The Steps of a Good Man

It has been one week since Joel's accident. And today he WALKED!

With the help of a walker and several caregivers, Joel got out of bed today for the first time since the accident. He walked from his bed to the wall and back- then later, to his room door and back to bed. This was a serious workout for him, but he DID IT! He is showing all the improvement that he should be at this point. He is out of ICU and in a regular room now. He might be transferred soon via ambulance to a rehabilitation center in Abilene, where he will receive 3-4 hours of physical therapy every day, and he'll do more walking. He will be there for approximately 2 weeks and then he may get to go HOME.

When Joel was hit, he was thrust against the hood of the oncoming car--so hard that his helmet seriously dented the hood and ruined the car battery underneath. His face hit the windshield, and the driver saw Joel's face against the glass. Joel was then propelled 81 feet from the point of impact, into a field, where he was safe from the other cars on the road. He was not unconscious, but could not breathe well, and he thought he was going to die there in the field. He prayed there...the kind of prayer that you can imagine a person praying when he thinks he's going to die. He asked God to care for his family. He made some things right before the Lord, and communed with Him there. He did not feel a panic, but instead a huge peace came over him. Even moments later when he was lifted into the ambulance, Joel asked the paramedics if he was going to make it, and they did not know. He had complete peace even then. The LORD MINISTERED TO HIM!!

A week later, Joel still has that peace. I believe this will continue to be true. Thank you, Holy Spirit, for Your unfailing comfort!

Joel is able to be himself in the hospital. The nurses all say he is their favorite patient (of course). He is kind, gentle, and of course funny. He keeps apologizing to them. :) Renee gets to be in his room a lot, and aside from being emotional and tired, she's doing well! She can safely lie next to him now and hug him. The kids will be with them tomorrow and will be able to see Joel for the first time since the wreck. Mending has begun!

I don't know much about the financial part of things, but the young man that hit Joel was insured for $25,000 injury for Joel. Joel's auto insurance will also likely cover a portion of his medical bills, and he does have health insurance also. I know that there will be needs, but I don't know the extent of the needs yet. The Holy Spirit knows and will see that Joel and Renee have all they need for the weeks ahead. Brothers and sisters have already responded to the Spirit's promptings and have given to them. Renee's family has really helped her, too, by being there with the children and staying with her there in the hospital. Kendra and Nathan and clan will be there soon to liven things up! It's hard for me to not be there. But I've talked to Joel on the phone and my soul is soaring knowing that he is having a good attitude and embracing the Light and not the darkness. We must continue to intercede on his behalf, for the emotional/mental aspect of all of this! Continuing to pray for his physical body, of course, but praying for the WHOLE JOEL...the tri-part JOEL... spirit, soul, and body.

When imagining Joel walking, I am thinking about those verses in Psalm 37: "The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, and he delighteth in his way. Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down! For the Lord upholdeth him with His hand!"

MORE than "a Good Read"

I've never proclaimed myself to be "a reader". I've attempted to make myself into that, even when I was a kid. I have a deep appreciation for books and a huge admiration for good writers, and I do enjoy reading very much. But I usually end up frustrated with myself for taking way too long to finish a book, or not finishing it at all. I seem to lose interest in it too easily, even after a few chapters. Or I keep falling asleep reading it because the only time I spend with it is late at night when I'm already exhausted from meeting the demands of the day. Or, when I haven't even made time to read God's Word, I feel like reading anything besides the Bible is unjustified-- like if I'm going to read anything, it should be that. And sometimes I would just rather do something else that makes me feel accomplished or more productive.

But every now and then, I start into a book that I cannot possibly NOT FINISH. For me to "not be able to put it down", a book has to REALLY speak to me in my heart of hearts. It has to inspire me beyond mere entertainment. Or it has to broaden my knowledge of something I actually WANT to know more about. I feel this way about movies, too, especially lately. If I am going to spend two hours on a film, I prefer it to somehow appeal to my soul, my spirit, or my hunger to know more about something--and not just please my eyes and ears.

I just finished reading, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller. I knew nothing about this book when I started it, so I had no expectations. A friend at school actually gave it to me, because some friends were going to get together to talk about it, and that was my friend's way of making it more likely for me to make it to the discussion, I think. The way this summer has been (busy and hectic), I probably would not have bought the book. But since my friend gave it to me in the most genuine way, I told myself I was going to do my best to actually read the whole thing start to finish, with no skimming and no skipping around, whether or not I made it to the book group. But I kind of wondered if I actually would. I haven't made it to the book group one time. But I just read the end of this story about a story, and I feel like I might just read it again before school starts, this time with a highlighter in hand.

I really associated with the author because so much of what he said, I could relate to. At the risk of sounding ridiculous, I sometimes think about writing a book. And while reading this one, I felt like I actually could. I analyzed for awhile what has kept me from doing that. I felt compelled to consider what has prevented me from doing things I always say I want to do. I fell asleep crying the other night, after reading the part where the author goes to Machu Picchu. I cried because of the beauty of his description, because of my own desire and failure to get to South America, because of everything he communicated around that experience. It was very thought-provoking. Emotion-provoking.

So this is me recommending a book which may or may not get a hold of your heart and cause you to think about meaning in your life. It's nothing earth-shattering...and it is certainly not like other "Christian books" I have ever read. But it got me excited to be alive. And inspiration is something I need heavy doses of at this time.

A student gave me a book store gift certificate the last week of school. I now know what I will spend it on (another book by Donald Miller). We'll see how it goes...

Answered Prayer

A HEARTY THANK-YOU to everyone who has upheld Joel and Renee, since Joel's accident on Monday! It has been three days, and he is officially out of the life-threatening woods! Now entering the forest of recovery. God said, "CALL unto ME, and I WILL ANSWER thee, and SHOW YOU GREAT AND MIGHTY THINGS, which thou knowest not." He proves it over and over. Hallelujah! These are the times when I'm inspired to write and sing songs of thanks to HIM!

Besides the loss of one kidney and his spleen, Joel seems to be fine internally. His lungs will heal. He had extensive surgery done on his left leg and knee. He has a metal rod now in his leg; I do not know details about that leg, but Lord willing, Joel will regain full function of the leg. (prayer request!)

He has no signs of brain damage, just a concussion- and no spinal cord or nerve damage detectable at this time. (praise request!)

Joel's cervical vertebrae were closely examined with MRI. Fracture was RULED OUT! AMEN!! He does have a broken ring finger, right foot, and ankle- which will heal. Praise God for sparing his HANDS from anything worse than one fractured finger! What a gracious God!

Joel was taken off the ventilator yesterday, and was slowly taken off the sedatives. He was very confused when he woke up. He knew he had been in the accident, but he had no idea how long he had been down. He asked if the baby had been born, and he asked if his brain was alright. He is able to speak and he is himself, but he is extremely weak. He is still in ICU, sleeping a lot, and on morphine for pain. I am praying against INFECTION.

Renee has a small cot next to his bed at the hospital. Joel is at Covenant Medical Center. Address is 3615 19th Street. Lubbock, TX 79410. Renee was much more tired on Tuesday, after Monday's huge adrenaline rush wore off. Brothers and sisters in Christ have delivered an RV for Renee to stay in, right in the parking of the hospital! WHAT A BLESSING!! I am thankful for servants and givers who see needs and MEET THEM!! Renee's parents and sister came to help her and to care for the kids. Renee is resting as much as she can, but still spending lots of time tending to all of the needs which are so important...like today...arranging a new pair of glasses for Joel as his were destroyed. All those abundant "little things" that make a BIG difference.

Baby boy-on-board is OK, too!! GOD, please continue to BLESS RENEE with amazing strength and energy now!

I will write another update soon. I'm sorry it took me this long to get an update written. I was drowning in a sea of essays. But now I'm swimming to shore... I have about 6 paragraphs to go on my LAST essay of the term. I'm like a delirious marathon runner who can't feel her legs anymore and everything's gone blurry. But I'll be crossing that finish line real soon. Then I can blog more, hopefully!

THANKS again to you all, for prayerful intervention on Joel's behalf. I know it will be an uphill climb for him and Renee. But I also know they WILL receive DIVINE HELP, SPIRITUAL COMFORT, and PERFECT PEACE that only comes from the Almighty Protector, Provider, Lover of souls. Creator of bones and skin and Giver of sight, hearing, cognition, muscle, humor, memory, all of the things that were so delicately preserved for Joel.

WE SEE YOU, LORD!

Jehovah Rapha our HEALER

For those of you praying for my brother, Joel, and his family--THANK YOU. For those of you who aren't, I want to ask you to please join me in praying.

Joel was riding his motorcycle home from work today- going home for lunch- when a vehicle collided with him when making a poorly judged left turn. Joel was medi-vac'd out of Sweetwater to Lubbock. He was bleeding internally and had emergency surgery. His spleen had burst and was removed, along with one kidney. His left femur is compound-fractured and his left knee is also broken, as well as his right foot and ankle. His lungs are injured, but not punctured. He has deep lacerations and road rash all over his body.

Renee is 23 weeks pregnant and is with him in Lubbock, nearly 100 miles from their home and from their three kids- Calvin, Donovan, and Josie.

My heart is so heavy tonight. But I do have hope knowing that Joel is right in the hand of our Father God. The safest place to be. WE ARE TRUSTING THE LORD FOR...healing. Comfort. Protection from infection. Steady, skillful hands of the surgeons as they work to repair Joel's leg, foot, and ankle. Understanding and grace for the little ones at home. Safety for the baby Renee is carrying. STRENGTH for Renee. Peace and protection for her parents as they drive up from the Valley.

We are THANKING THE LORD FOR...sparing Joel's precious life. His helmet. Protecting his brain and his HANDS, which are his livelihood and his greatest creative outlet. Joel teaches graphic animation for TX State Technical College. He is an amazing artist, songwriter, musician. Husband, Papa, son, brother, friend. He's 34 years old and he is loved deeply by all of us.

GOD be our joy, our peace, our steady Light. We BLESS Joel and Renee in the NAME OF JESUS.

Countdown to Meltdown

This evening I had what I would call a "freak-out session". It's what happens once in awhile, when I'm feeling overly overwhelmed to the point of drowning, and I let "things" get to me. Tears are always involved, the kind that come fast and furious. Said tears are usually accompanied by my nervous habit of biting my bottom lip...sometimes more of a chewing or gnarling. And a feeling of wanting escape. An insatiable desire to get in the car and just drive until I feel better. But of course, I never get out the door.

The Holy Spirit comes to my rescue when I call on Him... to calm me down, to comfort me. And while He does not take away the circumstances leading me into my mini-meltdown, He gives me that self-control, the peace and the temperance, that I may have lost for a few minutes. And then it's all over and I can think about why I'm even doing what I'm doing, and why it's worth it. Tonight I am feeling very worn out- but comforted. NOT despairing. Just really tired.

What generated my upset today was my school work. I have had a lot lately. It is several hours a day of reading and typing, reading and typing, typing, typing, reading, reading. Essays up the wazoo. I think when it is all over, I should be granted an honorary second Master's degree in essay writing. As soon as I finish one essay, I'm starting to plan the next one. It is rather grueling. I am ready for it to be DONE. But it isn't done yet. I still have lots of work to complete, and I have a deadline August 1st, which feels uncomfortably close.

Thus the freak-out session today, queue tears, lip-biting, etc. etc.

Mark- AKA my steady constant- ordered pizza, and that made it a little better. A curious form of anti-depressant, I know. It was stuffed crust. Self-medicating never tasted so good.

There isn't really a point to this entry other than to say that for me- for now- summer sunshine and sand and joyrides are on major hold. I hope to enjoy a sampling of those things in August before school starts again. But for now, I need to get back to Essay #347.

Just kidding. Kind of.

Let's end this on a happier note...LAMENTATIONS chapter 3:

"Waters flowed over mine head, {but} I called upon Your Name, O Lord, out of the low dungeon. You have heard my voice. Hide not Your ear at my breathing, at my cry. You drew near in the day that I called on You. You said, 'Fear not'. O Lord, You have pleaded the causes of my soul; You have redeemed my life." (verses 54-58)

Davida's Song Picks - JULY 2010

A Walk in the Park

Yesterday I bought a pair of sandals- the first real pair of sandals I have owned since tearing a tendon in my foot in 2007. It's so great to wear sandals again. They are the kind of sandals made for walking. I decided to break them in this evening, at a neighborhood park, after making a shamefully poor decision for dinner. (We tried the much-highly acclaimed new burger joint, "Five Guys Burgers & Fries"). It was deliciously disgusting- or disgustingly delicious-- not sure which. So anyway, after consuming what felt like enough meat and potato to FEED all five of those guys, I decided to take the kids AND my new sandals to the park and attempt to walk off at least the bun, maybe 1/2 the beef patty.

It was the PERFECT night for such a decision. The park was like a good dream. No mosquitoes, no pollen blowing around my head, no pain in my feet. The sun was starting to go down and it got "stuck" in its sunset position. Perfection! The evening was cool and I had my MP3 player. Aw yeah.

I couldn't help but notice what beautiful diversity was all around me. My fellow park-goers were all busy doing their things. It was a beautiful snapshot of melting pot America. I didn't just notice. I WATCHED, as I walked.

Many 20-something to 40-something year-old men played baseball in full uniform, as their families watched from the sidelines. I wondered how many of these men were aspiring pro-baseball players as young boys. Now as "family men", I wondered how many of them had worked all day prior to coming onto the field? And how many of them have a night shift awaiting them after the game? How many of them are out of work, facing the financial crises of their lives? Yet they were there, playing a high-energy, sweaty ball game, looking very fulfilled doing so.

My attention shifted to the soccer field, where many tweens and teens were facing off in a casual soccer match- with their pretty, tan moms looking on so proudly and chatting with crossed arms and warm smiles. A mother and two kids were walking a yellow labrador puppy, enjoying him immensely. He was the star of their show. I thought of how much joy our little Daisy has brought us since we got her last spring.

Not far off was a Hispanic man in his 40's, maybe early 50's, kicking a soccer ball around, running slowly after it. His attire, his ball, everything about him was in "el estilo puro mexicano". I missed the Rio Grande Valley for about 3 minutes. I appreciated the simplicity of his pleasure there on the field. I thought of times when I would watch boys playing soccer in Mexico. I imagined a Spanish conversation I might have with that man about the World Cup. I wondered where he was from.

Another Hispanic man was chasing two young kids through the grass, toward a large pile of woodchips. The woodchips were for the swingset area, but had not been spread out yet. When the kids reached the pile, they ran up on it and laughed and laughed. A nervous, giggling, nonstop kind of laughing. The man chasing them was laughing too, and very winded. Already at the woodchip pile stood an older woman with a strong, haggard look. She was looking after several young boys already playing on the woodchip pile, and a little girl with a physical disability, sitting in a wheelchair, sipping from a juice pouch. The woman pointed to her wrist and looked at me, asking the time without saying any words. 7:22. She nodded to say thank you, as though she was too tired to say it. I wanted to tell her to go sit down on the bench, to rest, because she looked tired, and I knew how she felt. But I kept walking...knowing that my not-so-little "Little Burger" would be haunting me forever if I didn't do something to make it go away.

On the path I was walking, another old woman was posing by a beautiful flowering tree, and a much younger Russian woman (perhaps a granddaughter?) was taking her picture with a cell phone. The old woman looked to be of Russian descent, wearing her babushka head scarf and her button-down coat and polyester skirt. Plainly not calling attention to herself, yet I couldn't stop watching her. She had the look of a content and kind woman who worked hard her whole life. I smiled at her and thought she looked stunning standing there under the white flowers and green leaves on a night like this. She smiled back at me. I wondered if that picture would be sent to some place deep in Eastern Europe, or treasured by the younger woman, after she was gone.

A boy about 11 years old was shooting hoops at the basketball court. His audience was a pudgy man who looked like he may have spent some time as a carnival worker- or perhaps as a long haul truckdriver-- and a much older man wearing sunglasses, lying on the grass next to a wheelchair, obviously his. Later I saw the boy walking beside the middle-aged man, who pushed the old man in the wheelchair. They were not saying anything, just walking.

At the playground were several moms and grandmoms pushing toddlers on swings, cuddling babies, giving lots of kisses, smiling, laughing, teaching. I wished I had a little baby again. Remembering so well the wonder of those times at the park when Hannah and Matthew were little like that. I watched Hannah and Matthew as they slid back and forth on a large metal bar overhang structure. They needed no help from me, but still looked over and waved or came over for a quick hug. Hannah walked with me for a few minutes and held my hand. Matthew was just glad to be getting a bit dirty and sweaty, jumping and running in his new tennis shoes (the kids got new shoes yesterday, too). Matthew and Hannah looked as beautiful as they did to me the day they were born. Maybe more.

As I began feeling like it was time to go, I saw a blind Asian man walking with a stick alongside two younger men who were speaking a language I will likely never understand a word of. I think they were Vietnamese. They were talking so fast. I listened in complete awe of their ability to communicate in such a way. The blind man seemed to be enjoying the air and the sounds of the other two men talking with him so energetically. I thanked God for my sight. I thought of my Dad and how he'll never again need help to walk a path. I imagined him walking with Jesus.

It was just about time to go. By now I had walked for about 40 minutes, several times around the big "track". I wondered how many of the people I had seen were watching me the way I watched them. They may have (correctly) assumed I was walking to lose weight, and I hope they thought I looked like a joyful person. Because inside, I was bubbling over. I sat down on a bench and took it all in. I thanked God for America and for His gifts. For this clean park and the security I felt there. For health. For love and for family~ these cross all cultures, and they unite us. For green grass and crabapple trees and flowers and puppies and babies. For bringing our family to Vancouver and for bringing us through so many trials since we have been here. God is so good; He's so good to me.

I strongly encourage a walk in the park if you haven't had one in awhile! ~Davida

Jumping Hurdles

Recently I have been reflecting on the things in my life that continually hinder me. I feel that there are several things getting in the way of my completely fulfilling Christ's purpose for my life right now. But two which stand out as MAIN OBSTACLES are: 1) my weight and 2) Facebook. These are really unrelated, but they are the two highest hurdles I MUST get past if I am going to WIN this race I am currently running.

My weight has been an ongoing hindrance to me for many years, but lately this has been more true than ever before. It has become a spiritual stronghold. It is beginning to take hold of me in a very negative way. This has happened before. In high school, I was so unsatisfied with myself because of my weight, that I began to deeply hate myself and to doubt the very worth of my life, even my life in Christ. I can see that creeping back in now-ever so slowly, but it is there- and I am uprooting it even as I write this. I do not say this to shock anyone, to have a pity party for myself, nor to give place to the devil. I say this to proclaim that I have identified my enemy's using this against me, and I am going to rise against it- against HIM- again, in a new way, with all that I've got- and with Christ as my Help. I am declaring WAR. And I will fight it with prayer, supplication, Scriptures, my elliptical machine, and my calorie counter! :)

I believe that if we truly and WHOLE-HEARTEDLY seek God's work in ourselves, we WILL receive REAL ANSWERS to our "questions". But the answers He gives are not always the answers WE would choose. So we find different answers that better suit us. Then we wonder why we stay in the same ruts- or get into worse ones. We sometimes grow very attached to our own hindrances, mentally and emotionally. And we begin to think we'll never change. So we give up. When all along, the Lord was there to help us, but we didn't let Him- because the way He wanted to "help" was not our way, not our ideas. I have done this in regard to my weight. And I have also done it in regard to Facebook.

This morning I heard a great message about idolatry- the gods we "worship" in this life. And I was asked to identify anything that might be taking the place of GOD in my heart. And this may sound silly, but FACEBOOK kept coming to mind! I already thought God was telling me this- for awhile-and I had pretty much ignored His still small voice. But today He confirmed this without question. I need to get off Facebook for awhile.

I see nothing wrong with Facebook, but for me, it lends itself to excess. There are many times when I choose to spend time on Facebook when I should be doing other things. It is difficult for me to ignore Facebook, even when I have coursework to complete, dishes to do, lessons to plan, not to mention a family to be with. I feel lately that I MUST cut out everything that distracts me from doing what I'm CALLED BY GOD to do, and Facebook does that. So I am taking a break from it, for awhile, to focus on my more important tasks at hand. I'll still write on Paint the Truth- hopefully more because I really enjoy it. And I will focus on finishing my Master's program, exercising, and preparing for my 4th amazing year at King's Way. I will devote more time to my husband, my children, and my Lord.

Today is a good day! **Now initiating project hurdle jump**

More Inspiration

I love to be inspired. I think every person does. Even the crotchety folks who won’t eagerly admit to it. Each of us is inspired by different things at different times, often unexpectedly, but sometimes purposely.

“Inspiration” as a word means a breathing into. Inspiration as a feeling is like taking a deep breath of the very VITALITY of life. When you are inspired, something or someone- somehow- BREATHES into you a new breath of a life worth living. And you feel alive. Motivated. Perhaps to change, perhaps to stay the same.

Some people are thrill-seekers. At this time in my life, I would say that I am more of an inspiration-seeker.

One day very recently, I was feeling about as UNinspired as a person can be. On this particular day, I did not feel I was taking deep breaths of anything invigorating or life-giving. I felt more like I was hardly breathing at all. But when I did, I was inhaling a heavy, smoky, infectiously negative air which brought me down so low that I could have cried on demand. I thought, “I need some inspiration! But I guess I can’t be inspired ALL the time.”

I’m not sure if that thought was my own, or if it came from my enemy.

I continued to think about it, and then to counter-think it, asking, “WHY NOT? Why CAN’T I be inspired all the time? ” (I’m not sure if that thought came from me or from the Holy Spirit.) I thought, “How would my life look differently if I purposely sought inspiration on days like today? Is there a cure for this slump that I so easily find myself in?” And I realized that YES- the remedy was a heavy dose of inspiration to be administered immediately and as much as necessary!

What inspires you? What doesn’t?

I propose that you and I counteract any mutinous uprisings of UNinspiration in our days, by seeking out the things and the people that breathe life into us! And AVOID the things (and people) that suck the life right out of us! If this means calling or writing to someone who “lifts your spirits”, or if it means severing soul ties with someone who UNinspires you, then that’s what must be done! If it means choosing to spend your time differently from how others expect you to, then so be it!

I have challenged myself… and now am extending the challenge to you… to seek some amount of inspiration EVERY DAY, even if only a small nugget.

Can we really have too much life breath?

If “life is short” (and it is a vapor, according to James), why should we waste any hours being uninspired?

If you are inspired when being outdoors, be there as much as you can! Listen to the music that lifts you emotionally and makes you think of rich and meaningful things! Read what makes you think about the wonders of God and your purpose-driven life! Dwell on Scriptures, memories, prayers, writings, relationships- that make your spirit SOAR! Learn about what interests you. Learn about your MAKER. KNOW Him. I believe the more we deliberately pursue the things that inspire us, the MORE WE’LL BE INSPIRED! And we’ll find one inspiration leading into another.

AND the obvious outcome will not only raise us up in our tri-part being (body, soul, spirit), but will cause us to inspire others who also need MORE inspiration! Think about all the times people have written down their thoughts, their stories, their music, when they were inspired to do so. What if they hadn’t? The world would be devoid of life-giving air for you and me to breathe! But no, there is a myriad of it, because those people chose to SHARE it. So as we seek sources of inspiration, we must also understand that we may be that source to someone else. As we are inspired, we will be more likely to inspire others. A person giving CPR won’t be able to give breath, if he himself is laboring to breathe!

The Lord has given YOU a unique story, one which can be shared and treasured by others- one which has great potential to INSPIRE. How can OUR hardships- and OUR overcomings- be used to help someone ELSE through a personal trial or a spiritual battle?

In closing, I need to say that OUT OF ALL THE SOURCES OF INSPIRATION, the Holy Spirit supersedes them all. HE breathes the LIFE OF GOD HIMSELF into us when we invite Him to do so. HE is the GIVER of new and ABUNDANT life- life that personifies loving forgiveness and true devotion to the CREATOR of all things. In our times of uninspiredness, we can reach for the Word of the Lord and be brought back to life. We don’t even HAVE to reach for it! We can just quote it, pray it, meditate on it…and the inspiration comes.

So in summary….

1) WE NEED MORE INSPIRATION!

2) We need it daily.

3) We may be required to SEEK IT OUT on our own; it does not always readily present itself.

4) We need it to come from the LORD more than any other source.

5) And we need to GIVE it when we feel led.

Now, go inspire and BE inspired!! With love, DAVIDA

My Father, My Hero

Yesterday was Father's Day. My heart was filled with rejoicing! I THANK MY GOD for Mark's special relationship with Hannah and with Matthew. He is such a wonderful Daddy to them! He loves them unconditionally, as he loves me. He is so proud of who Hannah and Matthew are- and of all they accomplish in their young lives. They KNOW how much their father loves them, and they are safe and secure in his acceptance and in his nurture.

While I proudly celebrated Mark's fatherhood yesterday, at the same time my mind was occupied with many thoughts and memories of my own Dad. How I MISS him! "Miss" doesn't even describe it. I long to be with him again! I yearn to talk to him. I wish we could sit and drink coffee and laugh and play music like we used to! I have felt the void of his loss profoundly, since he went to be with the Lord in July 2004.

If you never met my Dad, you missed out. If you knew him, you loved him. My Dad was FULL of love. Love for the Lord, love for my mother, for all of his family, love for lost souls, for Mexico, for life itself. Not every person can say, "I want to be just like my Dad". But I honestly do.

I have been thinking a lot lately about inspiration. (Planning to write about that next.) Yesterday I thought about how much my Dad inspired me. His life STILL inspires me! His giving is a large part of who I am today. Memories of him are dear to me; they are treasures. His legacy is one of sacrifice, the CROSS of CHRIST, the glory of HIS RESURRECTION, and peace in spite of suffering.

Dad's favorite hymn was "It is Well with my Soul". I cannot sing it without that lump in my throat, and usually with watery eyes. I love the hymn's message. I remember Dad telling me the story of how it was written, when I was about 9 years old. Tragedy brought forth tremendously inspiring words that my Dad cherished even through his last days.

I thank the Lord for my father's example. His example has made it easy for me to desire intimacy with God the Father.

The light of my heavenly FATHER shined through my earthly FATHER. And I am SO very THANKFUL to have basked in it.

Overcoming Negativity

"But be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind..." ~Romans 12:2~

I have been purposely making efforts to RENEW my mind the last few days, according to this verse. By consciously, purposely CHOOSING NOT TO BE NEGATIVE.

The need for this renewal became VERY evident to me the other night, at the end of a "terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day". I had let my emotions rule my behavior for the majority of the day, like brat children lying on the floor pounding fists and flailing around while screaming and throwing their toys. Granted, I was not doing that outwardly, but mentally I was. And it wasn't pretty.

Upon walking the dog in my most GRUMPY of moods, I wanted to post a status on Facebook, declaring that "picking up doggie doo-doo is a perfectly fitting ending to some days". But as soon as I thought to type that, I realized that it was a direct outward expression of my grouchy heart. I thought, "How negative can I be?!" and "Who really wants to read about my bad day?" And then it hit me hard again this weekend, when I began realizing how OFTEN I was allowing myself to be dreadfully negative in my mind, and how it was affecting my actions.


My negative thoughts do not always show through in my actions, and certainly not right away. But sooner or later, they do. What I choose to think about will eventually drive me. I know this. "As a man thinketh in his heart, SO IS HE." (Proverbs 23:7) A very sobering truth.

I understand more all the time how I naturally move TOWARD those things that I regularly choose to dwell on, in my thought life.

For example, I regularly think negatively about a school week starting, especially after a vacation like we just had. I often spend Sunday evening in the doomsday dumps, feeling sorry for myself and wishing I had more time off, thinking of all that could go wrong the next day, etc. Yesterday I began to get sucked in to this thinking. And I KNOW the Holy Spirit CONVICTED me of it, and told me STRAIGHT OUT, "STOP these thoughts, Davida! Stop them NOW!" Romans 12:2 came to mind. And so instead, I immediately and deliberately began to think about all the good qualities of my students and co-laborers.

I began to think about how bad things COULD be, as opposed to how they ARE. I began to focus on the privileges that lie before me every single day at school. And I felt ashamed of myself for the way I had behaved in my mind. I even felt excited to get to school. I experienced a complete turn-around IN MY MIND. But I had to do it on purpose. And I had to do it through the Lord's Spirit- prompting and aiding me to make the change in HIS POWER! I made a personal vow before the Lord, to stop complaning about school AT ALL. So far so good! (It's been just over 24 hours!) I think this will revolutionalize my outlook on every morning, every challenging moment, every tiring afternoon. Every time I am tempted to throw a mental tantrum about anything school-related.

There are plenty of things for me to dwell on negatively. The world would be inclined to say that I am even "justified" in my negativity. "After all, life has been very hard these past two years." I buy into the lies the world tells~ the lies the enemy tells! The Lord has called me to FREEDOM, not captivity!! A person freed from bondage does not walk around putting his chains back on. A free person demonstrates his liberties with attitudes of JOY and HOPE, not of despair! I will blog more soon because I have a lot of thoughts. But I encourage anyone reading this- who struggles with negativity at all- to start with ONE thing you tend to dwell on that is negative. And purpose in your heart to think differently about that one thing. And see where it leads!

Hopefulness or hopelessness is a CHOICE we all must make. Self-pity or self-confidence is a CHOICE. Smiling or frowing is a CHOICE! Lashing out or speaking in love IS A CHOICE! The Lord will give us the fortitude to face our hardships as they come, graciously, patiently, and reverently before Him and others. NOT kicking and stomping like a spoiled child losing control of his temper. The Lord expects more from us as His children of light. How we choose to think WILL direct how we act. Think free, act free, BE free!!!

End of story.

CHAIRO! and again I say CHAIRO!!

"Rejoice in the Lord always, and again I say: REJOICE!" Philippians 4:4

The Greek word translated "rejoice" here is "CHAIRO" (pronounced khah'-ee-row). Meaning CHEERFUL, calmly happy, glad, faring well. This is me today.

The Lord has proven Himself again to me and has answered specific prayer in a specific way.

Even though this is my sixth year teaching, I am just now being licensed and am set to do my student teaching in the fall. The student teaching is 12 weeks long and is intended to be done full time. This presents a significant "glitch" in our income as well as just the "flow" of next school year, etc. I wrote an appeal to my university asking that they adjust the requirements in recognition of my experience, etc. They denied my appeal originally. Yesterday they said that I could extend the time to 24 weeks if I taught part-time in my own classroom. I spent time in prayer after hearing that, knowing that it would not work. It was just too long. I called my Mom and through my tears, asked her to pray. I've been praying about this for several weeks.

After some more pleading of my case, some e-mailing and phone calling this morning, they reversed the decision and GRANTED MY APPEAL. I am overjoyed! I am CHAIRO!! This means that Lordwilling, I will be completing my student teaching in the school where I currently teach. I will be able to earn 1/2 of the hours in my own classroom, and the other 1/2 in a traditional way with a host teacher (science). I am confident that the Lord WILL PROVIDE for us during that time, and that Hannah and Matthew will be able to stay at King's Way.

I cannot stop praising the Lord today. I will sing of His mercies FOREVER. ~Davida

Diphenhydramine is my Friend

I have had seasonal and environmental allergies all my life, but they have worsened in my middle age, rather than improved. My doctor has recommended that I remove all carpet from my apartment, get rid of the animals, and keep my home free of mold and dust at all times. To this advice, I say, "PSHAW!". Each of these recommendations carries with it its own set of challenges. But last night I had an experience that made me realize that THIS NEEDS TO BE a bigger priority than I have made it.

I've been generally stuffy, sneezy and sniffly, eye-watery, etc. for about one month. I'm getting by with the help of two kinds of eye drops, a nose spray, an inhaler, several allergy meds, and plenty of tissues. But last night, just out of the blue, one of my eyes began to hurt and swell up. I could feel it happening, and it was scary! The sclera around my eye was swelling around and over my iris. In the mirror, it looked like a big blister on my eyeball! Totally freaky! It was most discomforting. Blinking was painful and difficult. Felt like I had something big stuck in my eye. My experience was probably minor compared to some people's experiences with allergy responses (uh, hem, Lynlee--). But still- I FELT LIKE this guy:



So I hurried to the drugstore and got some Benadryl (diphenhydramine) -which amazingly I had NONE of- then placed a cold compress on the eye and settled in for a long night's sleep. It was much better this morning when I woke up. Thank you, Lord!!

So today I have spent my first day of spring break doing some much-needed SPRING CLEANING. Not my favorite use of time, but I can say without exaggeration that it has become medically necessary for me to clean my house. All this dusting and vacuuming will probably make me sicker for a day or two (it always does), but I am on a MISSION to de-allergize this place! It WILL be accomplished, even if it means regular doses of Benadryl around the clock!

I wonder... if I could prove it was medically necessary for me to have a maid, would insurance pay for it? Ha....keep dreaming, Davida... Maybe with Obama's new health plan?!?!? Hahaha...

On Raining and Reigning

Sometimes I find a song that I really like, and it fits my mood, and I just put it on "repeat" so I can hear it over and over...until it's permanently in my heart and memory. (And until my mood changes, at which point I find a different song to play and replay and replay.... and this great cycle of tune obsession continues...)

The song repeating tonight is "Rain Down" by David Crowder Band (video at the end of this post). I love its sound AND its message. And it has caused me to think tonight about RAIN.

Living here in Washington will make a person accustomed to RAIN, whether he wants to grow accustomed to it or not. I personally LIKE rain very much, and I find myself enjoying it way more often than complaining about it. Growing up in South Texas, we would have the most incredible downpours and lightning storms, especially in the summer time. I remember those stifling hot days and how REFRESHING the rain would be when it would come in the evening. I remember several times when I would just go out purposely into the rain and get DRENCHED in its cool wetness.

One of my best childhood memories is of a summer night when the sun was setting, and a storm came--and some of us kids just ran around in it and literally went a little wild--laughing and running and yelling out, attempting to out-sound the thunder. It was pouring, and it felt so good! It was rejuvenating and invigorating. It was a welcome contrast to the stagnant air we had breathed all day, and the dry, dusty Texas heat. The rain was fragrant. And after being in it for awhile, I remember feeling so clean and sleeping so well.

Tonight I was enjoying the damp mist in the air outside. And as I listened to this song, I thought of that summer night in Texas- and of several other times, even in Alaska and here in Washington- when I have purposely allowed myself to get soaked by rainwater. What a grand illustration of GOD's downpouring in our lives! If we ask Him, He will DRENCH US in His limitless love, His perfect peace, His neverending grace. He WILL rain down on us! But we have to step into His "rain". And HIS REIGN. We have to purposely place ourselves in Him, get out from the umbrellas that we hide beneath. Get out of our "comfort zone"- which is really stuffy and often suffocating anyway--and do nothing but ASK HIM to rain His peace and grace on our stagnant, dusty hearts. And He always sends the rain.

In Scripture, rain is evidence of God's power, His provision, and even His judgment. He sent rain to cover the earth when it was desperately wicked. He withheld rain for three years in response to disobedience and the evil rule of King Ahab. He sent rain to prove Himself as the one TRUE God.

II Samuel 23 gives record of the last words King David spoke before he died. In verse 4, the Spirit of the LORD spoke through him, of the time coming, when Christ will reign as King over EVERYTHING. And David recognized the Kingdom that was promised him. In his dying breaths, he was looking ahead to that Kingdom. And he described it like this:
"He that rules over men will be JUST, ruling in the fear of GOD. And He will be as the LIGHT OF THE MORNING, when the sun riseth, a MORNING WITHOUT CLOUDS...like the brightness after RAIN, that brings forth the grass from the earth."

Christ's Kingdom will be like rain upon this dry, cracking, dying earth. Only it will be a REIGN never before experienced. All will be new and fresh and growing as it should. And we will be forever saturated in HIS goodness.

RAIN DOWN your love on us And RAIN DOWN your grace RAIN DOWN your love on us And RAIN DOWN your peace And COVER me

CSI: Crime Scene Imagination

So tonight I went out for my nightly walk of the dog. I left just after watching about 20 minutes of Larry King Live—interspersed with parts of an episode of CSI: NY. (I was watching the CSI during the commercials for Larry King… going back and forth between the two channels.) In this particular CSI episode, Stella and Mack were trying to solve an abduction case in which a baby had disappeared, presumably at a murder scene. Yes, I know—I should probably not be watching that. But it seems like it’s always on, and I am too easily sucked in to the stories. I like the forensics and all the “science” woven into the stories—even if it is very fake. But tonight, I did manage to realize that it was a waste of my time, so I turned it off and went out to walk the dog a little before my usual time.

“While I’m at it, I may as well take out the garbage”, I decided. So I approach the dumpster first thing, nonchalantly listening to music as I go, pulling a stubborn sniffing Daisy along beside me, preparing to hike my garbage bag onto the top of our already teeming metal dumpster. As I come close enough to throw the bag in, my eye catches what I know to be a little doll hand- sticking up straight, at the top of the pile. But then I see a second hand, belonging to another “doll” – attached to a little arm- and this time I see the whole doll- and it is SO lifelike- my throat goes down into my stomach for a moment. Instantly, I am in CSI mode in my mind. I’m not kidding. My brain enters into a high-alert state and I begin to imagine “the worst”. I feel a little shaky as I get close enough to really inspect both dolls, to make SURE they are really dolls. Of course, they were.

The one doll had dark hair, it was a little mannequin doll--life-size with VERY realistic features. It reminded me of the kid mannequins in the Old Navy store. It was folded in half with its legs flopped near its head. The other doll was lying down flat, also extremely lifelike, with its little arm up as if reaching out to say, “Help me.” IT FREAKED ME OUT! After ascertaining that INDEED these were NOT human children, I was thinking, “Who would throw dolls like this away, especially right on top like this, where anyone could mistake them for little kids? Especially in the dark like this? Couldn’t they have used a box or SOMEthing to cover them up a little bit?” I gathered my composure enough to say, “Oh, well” –but I still felt uneasy about the whole scare.

This is not the first time my being a CSI crime-solver-wannabe (with an overly vivid imagination) has gotten me into trouble. I’m thinking I had better lay off the CSI watching for awhile. Especially at night just before taking trips out to the dumpster.